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Hated Her Curls

If you read my first Blended Beauty Guest Post, or if you are on NC you might have heard our story. Recently I shared this with our friends on Facebook. Well, its time to vent, and share the reason behind this blog.

When N just turned 5, she hated her hair and curls being free. She has once compared her hair to someone else, and mentioned she wants it to be like her friend in school. I never really pushed the "love your hair" thing on her, because I figured she was fine. But the reason why I even started my blog was when I found out that she wasn't fine. I would make her have a "no-tension" day aka "momma don't feel like doing it day lol," and I would leave her hair free. She would always complain and fuss for us (Mom+Dad) to put it in a bow, and I would ignore her request. Well this particular time, after complaining. She went to her room and was very quiet. So I went in there to check on her, and put away her clean clothes, and I saw 1 small (I guess around the size of a nickel ball) of hair on the floor. At first, I didn't think anything of it, I figured she missed her trash can after I detangled. Then a few steps away was another one, I was like wtheck! After I interrogated her, she busted out crying, and admitted that she snapped a few pieces of hair out.

After that I went to a forum and shared what happened, and followed the advice. I began researching and trying to learn about hair. I also thought it would be a good idea to take pics of styles and make a blog, so that she can see herself on the screen and I can read to her the readers reactions. Let me tell you it WORKED! She is much more happier with her hair, but she still prefers it up and styled. I made a blog post about this incident a year ago and never published it. She is embarrassed, and for a long time so was I, along with pissed off. I never thought MY CHILD would feel that way. I always told her that she is smart & beautiful, I guess it went through one ear and out the other. Earlier this month I shared this with Stacey from Blended Beauty. So after some encouragement from my facebook friends. I figured "it's time now" especially after I seen that N is not alone, and many folks went through something similar. So I'm finally publishing this post that has been sitting here in our edit section, next will be the post about N's white hair, which she is also embarrassed about. But hey I doubt she is alone on that too.

Does your child ever experience low self esteem or issues regarding their hair?

5 comments

Precious Henshaw | Monday, February 20, 2012

Such a touching story Kandy! Both you and N have come a long way and her hair is beautiful! Happy to know that she loves it now!

Melly, Yaya's Mom! | Monday, February 20, 2012

I am so glad you posted this! This is Yaya and I ALL DAY! Seriously! Yaya has very low self esteem issues about her hair too. I was just thinking today that I really need to get some more interesting pics up of her hair journey. But, the truth is I have been trying to work with her on "loving her hair". She always compares her hair to her natural straght hairde friends and I feel so bad. I even did a texurizer in the past and regreted it. Her cursl are so pretty. For the longest time all she wanted was straight hair and would cry, but now I only give her 1 heat pass a mo or every other mo. She's been coming along lately. I was really happy to see her smile because we did a braidout and she liked the way her curls were hanging in the front. I'm sorry this is so long, it's just that we relate to this story so much.
Girl, you and N are not alone in this! Both you and N have BEAUTIFUL hair and I am glad she loves it! :o)

innerbeauty | Monday, February 20, 2012

no my daughter loves her curls, and kept asking me to let her wear her hair out more, which I'm now letting her do. I cut her hair shorter, because I noticed that the longer her hair was it would knot and tangle on it's self more on the ends. She was ok with me cutting it and now she is very happy with her hair. She has 3c hair, it looks very fine when it is first done in the morning and then get's really thick and full towards the end of the day. I just apply water and gel and finger style it. Or I section it at night and twist in large sections apply water, and shea butter and take out and comb in the morning. Sometimes she wears a protective style, but her hair does better when I leave it out.

Kandy | Monday, February 20, 2012

I was ashamed to share this story, but now that I have I've been hearing how we are not alone, Im glad I did. I kind of wished I did it earlier. I'm really shocked that other kids feel this way. Like who tells them that they are not beautiful just the way God made them? uhh super frustrating! But showing N pictures of other natural kids really helped her. Along with documenting her hair journey, I recommend trying many different styles and once she starts getting compliments, her attitude about her hair may change :)

Melly, Yaya's Mom! | Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Yaya and I created a folder on our desktop with different natural hairstyle ideas to help motivate her to wanting and loving her natural hair. It has been working! Slowly...but she is coming along. This seems to help, by her seeing other young ladies with beautiful curls and loving it. Although, I can't get her to sit long enough for me to try and learn how to braid, so this is a challenge. I can't cornrow to save my life! LOL I think she thinks I will just wake up one day and know how, lol.

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